just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
