she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
its liver damage thursday
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
