My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
