I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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