I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
