I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
foreskin is a definite game changer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
