You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
