can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
