I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
