Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
