plz talk dirty to me
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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