So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
