why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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