just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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