Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
