its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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