I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
