i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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