He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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