Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
