the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
