I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
