Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
