No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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