I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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