im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
