I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize