ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
