You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want to make out with him forever
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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