Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
