This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
