A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
