Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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