Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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