The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
