My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
