Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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