I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
