we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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