I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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