omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
