some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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