If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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