she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
