And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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