I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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