He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The uberlube is also flammable
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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