I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
