she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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