In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
