A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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