i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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