you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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