The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
