Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize