Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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