he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
