I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
