He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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