I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
