You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
