come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
